One Month

**Disclaimer - this is exactly a week late. It is hard to do ANYTHING with a baby. Who knew?**

My beautiful Emily, you are already a month old! How the time flies. You have been such an amazing joy to us my dear. these are just a few of the things you have accomplished this month:

-You are so alert! You hold our gaze so attentively that I fear my heart will break when our eyes do.

- You very rarely cry(unless it is the middle of the night and daddy is at work leaving mommy to want to claw out her eyes)

- You won't ever let daddy out of your sight when he is home. It is the sweetest thing in the world to watch you two. You are the best thing that ever happened to that man.

- You went trick-or-treating and stole the show. You were 19 days old and already your newborn pumpkin costume was a little snug. Everyone thought you were the cutest thing ever.

- You attended your Uncle Erik and Aunt Becki's wedding at three weeks and were the main attraction! You did give mommy a scare though - while changing a wickedly disgusting diaper in our very pretty attire, you decided to choke and stop breathing on the bathroom floor before I had a chance to wipe your dirty little butt! I have never been so scared and so unconcerned about poop on a very expensive dress. Luckily Nana was walking by and was able to help calm me down after. You of course were fine.

- You rolled over on G-ma's floor from your tummy to back and I MISSED IT! I was putting my shirt on and the next thing I knew you were on your back and totally surprised too. It was a fluke as I had you on a slight incline on the rug, but still, very proud moment nonetheless.

- As of 11/06 we now have legal custody of you and only have six more months until you are legally our daughter - you have been our daughter in our hearts since the moment you were born - it will only be a formality in our eyes.

I wish there were more time to write about everything that you are - the amazing baby who no longer looks like a newborn, the personality that is slowly starting to emerge - I love you Emily, more than you will ever know!'

Love,

Mama

Daddy's little doll

First Halloween - Cutest pumpkin ever!

Pumpkin & Penguin

(otherwise known as the future Mr. & Mrs Penguin!)

Family Pictures

When Emily was a week old we had a friend take some pictures for us. Instead of words, because that is too much effort at this point, you get to view our little family.

And thank you all for the kind words and comments. I'm sorry I don't respond, I've always been terrible about that. But know that everything is being stored in my heart and it keeps growing with each and every comment.

Thanks!!

How Emily came to be ours

I've been trying to sit down for almost a week now and write out how all of this happened. But having a newborn makes almost everything impossible. It's a good day when I get my teeth brushed before 3! Not to mention sorting out all of the emotions.

But I do want to share this. If not for someone else going through the same situation who may need a little encouragement, then for my own recollection when Emily is older and my brain is a little more addled. I want to be able to look back on her accomplishments and he milestones. Thus far everything of importance she has done is written down on an itty-bitty pink notebook that travels in her diaper bag.

There is so much to say, so many emotions to put down and wrestle with and figure out. So much GOOD and a little bad.

So here goes ...

Monday Oct. 5th I was at work and was helping a customer. I had heard my phone vibrating in my purse but promptly forgot. A little while later I checked the messages as we had literally just mailed off our paperwork to adopt through the state (oh ye of little faith!) and was thinking it could be them. I listened to my message at my desk and it was some woman I had never heard of calling from our agency. This is exactly how everything in the next ten minutes happened. I don't' think I will ever forget.

"Vanessa, this is Ruth from blah blah agency, and I wanted to let you know you and Mr. Sparky have been chosen by a birth mother. She would like to meet with you as soon as possible since she is due on Thursday and is having contractions. Please call me as soon as you can."

"EEEEKKKKKK!!!!! splurbgasppantslurbglaksedjroaiehnjkfnaklsedjf;alkejf!!!!!!!!!!! Sob sob sob sob sob"

I believe at some point in time I actually threw my pen across the room and made a very sharp inhale/exhale pitched scream that only dogs could hear. I could hear my coworkers in the background. Actually, they sounded as if they were in a fog and surrounded by bubble wrap. My boss asked what was wrong and my other coworker said, I bet she got a baby!!!

I ran back into the break room to call Mr. Sparky. Except I dialed the agency number first and spoke with Ruth. She explained a little about the birthmom and her situation (of which I will not be sharing as it is extremely painful for her and it really is Emily's to tell). Immediately I felt a connection with this girl and could not WAIT to meet her. This conversation took place while I was half kneeling on the floor, half leaning on the table, tears streaming down my face. If you had walked in on me, you probably would have thought someone close to me had died!

I got off the phone with Ruth and quickly called Mr. Sparky. Now get this. SHE HAD CALLED HIM FIRST. AND HE DIDN"T CALL ME. He wanted me to hear it from her (I really think he was in shock and that's why he didn't call). So I quickly filled by boss in as I was running out the door. All I remember saying is that I'd call in a few to fill her in since it was only 11:00 am.

I got home and all we could do was look at each other and laugh. LAUGH! Who laughs when they've just found out they are going to be parents after so many long and tearful years. We do, apparently.

We talked about it for maybe .02 seconds and called Ruth and said let's meet as soon as possible. We scheduled a meeting for the next day at 1:00 in Phoenix. I decided to go back to work as we really needed the money and had no idea what the next few days entailed since this was her third pregnancy and she was already having contractions!

That will be all for today. I'm allowing myself only 15 minutes to write since I want to spend as much time with Emily before I go back to work (Dec. 7th!) and someone has to do the laundry because it is not getting itself done. At least my mom is coming to stay for a few days tomorrow and that should be a huge help!

Emily Elizabeth

I am sitting here with my daughter snuggled in my lap.

It still feels so surreal that I have a daughter.

I would have written sooner, as I have SO MUCH TO SAY. About everything. But it is amazing how much you cannot get done with a newborn. Even one as, dare I say it, "easy" as Emily. I know you came back for pictures and not to listen to a new mommy wax rapsodic about her precious weshious, so I'll get to the posting of pics now.

Thanks for all your good wishes, we love every one of you inside this wonderful computer!

Nessa

Too tired to figure out the stupid layout for the pics.

What a Week!

Just thought you'd all like to know that our daughter, Emily Elizabeth, was born today at 11:36 am. She weighs 7 lbs 3 oz and is 20 inches of pure beauty. Mr. Sparky and I are at my parents house because she was born in the ghetto and they won't let us stay the night, so we are taking advantage of the brief respite and getting a FULL nights sleep now while we can.

I will post pictures as soon as we get home and am on a "safe" computer.

Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers, it's been a rocky weekend.

She was well worth the four year wait!