Thursday, December 4, 2008

It's amazing what can happen when you say the right words **UPDATED

Thanksgiving was great. The days since then have been a bottomless pit of total suckage. But we will persevere. I'm committed to this marriage and come hell or high water I will not get divorced. But I really don't want to be married right at this exact moment.

On a lighter note. Yesterday I called to make an appointment with my OBGYN due to some...irregularities. And found the RN I see had finally jumped ship and moved to my old OBGYN's office. So I called there and left a message at 11:45 a.m.

I never heard back. Today has been all sorts of horrible topped with an additional helping of, wow this really sucks. This is where I share perhaps just a bit too much, but I don't' care and really, neither do you. You know you're going to read it no matter how much I share. It's what we do.

I got my period last Tuesday right on schedule. Except it was different. and short. and lighter than normal. It lasted all of a day and a half and there was no ... ahem...extra stuff. I will leave it at that. Then the cramping started and hasn't really stopped since then. This morning it feels as if my ovaries are trying to escape to the tropics and are digging out with a dull spoon alternated by a sharp knife.

On top of that I've felt like I was going to start again. You know how you have that feeling? Yeah, I was sitting at my desk this morning and suddenly had to run to bathroom because suddenly I was a tad wet. But alas there was no red and all white, which I don't do. I just don't, it's not a thing my body seems to find enjoyable to produce. So I called my dear nurse friend who is also dealing with infertility but has a beautiful 1 year old and told her what was up. She said it was probably three things - I'm pregnant, have a cyst or am getting ready to ovulate.

I don't think it's the first one, not too sure about the second and the third is ridiculous. Because I don't really think I've been truly ovulating this whole time. At least not strongly enough to do any good. So the whole wetness is weirding me out and making me run to the bathroom every fifteen minutes, because my GOODNESS, no one should ever have to feel like this unless they are peeing themselves.

So I call the doctor's office back and tell them I need to see my RN and she says I can't get in for at least two weeks and say HA! Well not really, but I reeled off about us trying to get pregnant, weird period, horrible cramping. And you know what? I have a two o'clock appointment today. Amen to being pushy.

So I will let you know what happens and whether or not they give me good drugs because I HURT folks. Would anyone like some under-performing ovaries? I've got two I'm giving away!

**I am not pregnant, which I already knew. I do not have a cyst, yea! I did...and here's the shocker...just ovulate. Really didn't see that one coming. But that is not what is causing my cramps and wacky cycle. You ready for this? STRESS. Stress is causing me to have a bacterial infection which is causing the cramps which could have caused the wonky period. When I called Mr. Sparky to tell him his response was? Where did you get that from in a lovely accusatory tone. Counseling will be so fun tonight.


Yoka said...

Nessa, keep us updated what it was. Keeping my fingers crossed for good news.

Rebekah said...

Thinking of you...I'm sorry for the roller coaster ride. There are so many elements that I understand exactly...especially the feeling of isolation...

Hang in there, keep pushing through, and let us know what happens. (You're not alone!)