A Dream

I had a dream the other night that I came to work and got fired. In this economy it was horrible. I looked for work for almost a month.

Then one day the phone rang. We had a baby girl waiting for us at the hospital in Tucson.

We fretted about not having a second income anymore(considering we're in the hole $400 a month NOW while I work) but decided not to fret too much and enjoy the baby for a while.

Two weeks after we got the baby my husbands 92 year old grandmother passed away. She left us $750,000 dollars (she has a lot of money, but we AREN'T expecting anything from her. It would be nice, but we are not banking on it).

I woke up yesterday and told Mr. Sparky about it when I got home from work. Of course the dream was laden with tragedy - Losing a job - SUCK, grandmother dying - HORRIBLE to even think about.

This morning I pulled into the parking lot and immediately had a bad feeling. As of today I am on probation. I was given several options:
1. Have 30 days to find new job
2. Quit right away
3. CHANGE what is going on with me
4. Quite, but can clean the office three times a week at my regular hourly wage (we are having issues with the cleaning people and this looks mighty tempting)

I was fine the whole time I was getting this handed to me. No tears. Until he said, "I don't know what you want, I can't make that decision for you. I don't know if you want to stay, leave or just be a mom." That was when I couldn't take it any more and my eyes started to water.

I was very honest with them and told them I haven't been happy for a while. I don't like the law we practice and I am bored. Not that that is an excuse for what's been going on - I don't want to get into the reasons for "probation" because there should be no excuse, no matter how much I don't like my job. But I was honest with them and felt that was what I had to do.

I dont' know what will happen, I haven't even told Mr. Sparky yet. Not something you do over the phone, no? But I am at peace. I have options, even though at the moment things are looking a little bleak.

In no way do I expect a phone call from the agency any moment. I think the dream was just that. A dream. But it is a little weird.

God is in control and he has a master plan that I dont' know about nor do I need to. I can only surmise that what He has in store is better than what I can plan for. Considering NONE of my plans have actually worked.

Oh yeah and the diet. I fell off the wagon last week. Ate everything carb and lots of it. I got on the scale this morning for the first time since LAST THURSDAY and I only gained a few ounces. Which was amazing since I ate us out of house and home. I blame the hormones. Looks like I'll be able to get off to a good start this week.