I find that I'm not writing here as much as I thought I would. I can't decide if it is just laziness, or I'm afraid to actually write my feelings. I've gotten so good at hiding my emotions to the outside world, I think I may have blocked them good. So, my goal is to write at least twice a week here to start unraveling the things I'm feeling. That and to bash my mother-in-law, with love of course!
This being a holiday weekend, my parents came up on Thursday to help work on the house. We moved into our 1987 house last year and are slowly moving it away from the 80's and into something tolerable until we can afford a larger home or add on. It is a tiny home in comparison to most, 1300 sq ft but with the AZ room(non-cooled/heated room that most people use as an extra "living" space since the weather here is remotely nice in the winter) it is 1600 sq ft. There are two bedrooms and 1.75 baths.
For some reason the builders of the house decided that the two feet it took to get from the spare bedroom to the hall bath was just too far and installed a door between the room and the bath. Let me just say that this is RIDICULOUS! Who needs to have a door to the bath when you can walk 2 feet! to the bath. What a serious waste of wall space. So my amazingly handy daddy and my somewhat inept husband(very good at other things, just not home repairs) tore out the door and made me a wall to hand things on! Ohhh, internet, this is so exciting. I love to hang things on walls, except it takes me forever to get them hung, but that is neither here nor there. One problem, the mud did not dry as was supposed to and they need to do a second coat. Second problem - my handy daddy lives two hours away!!! and is traveling for work for the next bajillion weekends, which means I have an unfinished wall. But on the brighter side of things, my mom and I got most of the hideous woodwork painted and the kitchen and dining room done! Yea for a fresh coat of paint! I will post pictures as soon as I can. It is really quite pretty.
On to more interesting things. The mother-in-law and her fiance came up for the weekend too. Except it wasn't' really to see us, her and her friend had won a weekend at a B&B in town and decided that they should come up and not tell us. Which would be fine except for the fact that she has come to visit us 3 times in the almost three years we've been married. The last was to help us move into the new house and she only stayed long enough to take us out to lunch. Not that I'm complaining about the lunch - I love free food. It's just, well... Back to this weekend. We asked her to come to dinner Saturday night at our house and she did come, then got drunk. Which is not all together too uncommon seeing as she is an alcoholic. However, after they left which was 11ish and we were all in bed the phone rings and they've been stopped by a DUI checkpoint (we have a VERY dangerous hwy that people speed on all time, it's actually called Blood Alley and so cops are always upping the safety points on holiday) and that her fiance was getting arrested. Being that Mr. Sparky is of the law enforcement type, we thought we would need to go get them. Then she laughs, really loud and hard and says, "Oh no, it was just a joke, go back to bed!"
(to self) must be good christian and love this woman even if it burns!
The next morning after church, which she did not attend (those who consider themselves goddesses of their own universes tend not to believe in organized religion, but I hate that term, so, whatever you want to call it fine) and after my parents left we met them for brunch at historic hotel downtown which is very fancy pants. By the time we got there she was on her 4th bloody mary, which wouldn't have been so bad except she started drinking at 9:00 that morning and it was already 12:00, and by the time we were done eating, she had had two more and a beer! She stood up, said loudly, "I'm drunker than a skunk" and proceeded to stumble down the hall to the bathroom. Um, did I mention this is a small town and my husband is a cop?? Alone, this would have been mortifying, but add the afore mentioned details and suddenly I wanted to move, to a smaller town and not leave a forwarding address. Ugh. Then off to the craft fair for more drunken debauchery and she bought everything that wasn't nailed down. And most if it was the most hideous crap I have ever seen.
On the baby front - ended up not pregnant this last time around and I was so convinced I was. I think that was the straw and I want to be done. I want to be done trying and hoping and waiting and crying and watching every last woman I know give birth or get pregnant. Within the last 7 days, two of my friends have given birth and I have two showers this month. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but the two year mark is approaching at a galloping rate and I'm tired. Tired of everything. I have a dr's appointment today with the favorite RN at the crappy dr's office(just because someone is a Christian does not make them GOOD at what they do, I keep forgetting this fact) and hopefully she will run some tests since the crappy dr refused last time saying she wasn't sure I would do anything to fix it so she wasn't' going to do the test! NOT HER CHOICE. Ugh, the draw backs of living in a small town are the incompetent medical community. But the, from the sounds of others out there, it's not too much better in the big city