Monday, June 30, 2008

The Letter - Part II

The letter is finished and at the printers as we speak. Tomorrow it will be mailed off with a $1,000 to our agency and the wait will begin.

I am relieved. No . . . . I am . . . . I am a mixed bag of emotions.

This ends the busyrunningaroundcollectingofinformation phase and I am not too sure what exactly I am supposed to do now. We have every document accounted for and turned in, we have the nursery (pictures to come once I get Mr. Sparky to move the dresser....again), there is nothing more we can buy (because we don't know what we are having and we don't' have any money).

I suppose I could touch up the paint in the baby's room, I do need to paint the outlet covers and straighten a few of the stripes.

I am not good at the waiting thing. I never have been. I LOVE instant gratification. With this adoption thing, it is hard to explain the emotions. I know what the outcome will be - a baby. I just do not have a time line. And I hate not having a time line.

I feel so unprepared. Not with the physical stuff -crib, car seat, etc. But with the emotional stuff that is just lingering around the corner. I don't know if YOU know this, but apparently there will be a living, breathing child at the end of this that WE will be responsible for. And that is mind blowing.

There is just so much I am not ready for...


Rebekah said...

I'm anxious about how I will feel once in your shoes. We still have the last two meetings in our homestudy left, this month. I'm just starting the babies room, and only have the material picked out for the quilt (haven't actually started it). I have lots to keep me occupied in the next two months...after that I'll probably be going nuts! You'll have to find a new hobby to keep your mind off of things!

Yoka said...

I know that feeling. There is still so much to do before we can actually take home a baby... But I don't believe other parents are ready. There is only so much that you can do.

Lassie said...

Hi, I just found your blog and have enjoyed catching up with your story. I recently adopted a little girl and when she came home, I wasn't mentally prepared. I remember feeling shocked, thinking, "Oh my gosh, she's going to be here EVERYDAY for 18 years!"

I think that is just part of the ride.