Thank you all for your input. Although we still haven't made a decision as what to do yet (I've only had about fours hours with my husband in the last 9 days and they haven't all been on the same day) time has given us some distance to the matter and we are a little more calm. And by we I of course mean me.
If you do not already know, please make your way over to Yoka and congratulate her on her new daughter Lillian. So exciting!
Now, on to new and exciting things.
Because I don't already have enough on my plate what with the adoption thingy and all, I've decided I need a career. Not a job, but a career. I will be 30 in exactly 18 months and have done absolutely nothing worth while in my life (career wise that is) and am starting to get antsy. I really don't believe that every person needs to be a brain surgeon or an astronaut or anything like that to be successful in their lives. If that were the case then the important everyday stuff would never get done, but I do believe that people should be happy about what they do - whether it be a clerk at the mini mart or a CEO of a company.
I went to college to be a teacher but for certain reasons never finished. I dropped out of Northern Arizona University half way through my sophomore year and pretended to go to many and various community colleges for years after that. And by pretend I mean spent money but never got anywhere. I could never make up my mind what I wanted to do. And now it is kicking me in the butt.
After we first started this baby journey Mr. Sparky and I thought it silly for me to spend money we didn't really have to get a degree for a job I would more than likely never stay at too long since, you know, I'd be at home shortly raising our family. That idea didn't work out so well. So here I am, 28 1/2, nowhere close to a degree and feeling very empty.
I love my job in the aspect that I work with great people and make decent money in the town I live in for only having a high school diploma. But I want more. It's obvious to me that I will not be a stay at home mom any time soon - not just because of the no baby thing, we've screwed ourselves financially and are working to fix it- and feel like I should be doing something with my life. I do not want to be an office manager (glorified secretary) for the rest of my life. I want to do something that I am passionate about, something that I can truly make a decent living at and something that would not require me to attend a college that is 100 miles away from my home.
So there. A little pre-midlife crisis perhaps? Just testing the waters for what it will be like when I'm forty and still a freaking secretary? I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. All the aptitude tests I've taken over the years tell me I should be a teacher, but really, do you all know how bad the Arizona school systems are? Also, our school district here just layed off a boat load of people. I co-taught for a semester in Phoenix several years ago and while I love the children, the bureaucracy and the parents and the crap just isn't worth it to me.
If any of you know what I should be then let ME KNOW PLEASE or if you are independently wealthy I am available for adoption.