Resurfacing for Air

I have never gone this long without an entry. I have been so out of sorts the last few weeks dealing with the Jax issue and whatnot. I just have not felt like blogging. I've been reading, some commenting, but trying to put words together has just been torture.

Things of course took a turn for the worse after my last entry. It was an ordeal trying to get in touch with the woman from UAF (the place we got Jax from). There were no empty foster homes so we had to keep Jax until they could find a place for him. By Friday we had to make a decision. I called the local border we have used for Austin in the past and reserved two places for the weekend.

I had to dash home at lunch to get the dogs' things ready and get them over there. They had been playing nicely all day outside and when I came home I let them in. For 15 minutes while I was getting food and beds ready to go they were sweet to each other. Playing and kissing and generally getting along (which sucks when you see how good they get along and you KNOW that Jax could snap any minute) until something set Jax off and he viciously attacked Austin. So bad that I could not get them apart. All I could do was scream and kick them both. Mr. Sparky, who was sleeping, came running in and somehow got them apart. I grabbed Austin's collar while he got Jax out of the house.

It was so ferocious and so emotional. All I could do was hold Austin while sobbing. I couldn't do anything, it was as if I were frozen. Then I noticed Austin was covered in blood and of course I sobbed even harder. Jax had ripped a chunk of Austin's cheek out. It wasn't bad enough to need the vet, but it did solidify in Mr. Sparky's head that we really did have a huge issue. He still at that point was having a hard time with the fact we needed to get Jax out of the house ASAP.

We each took a dog in separate cars to the border. I had stopped by before and explained the situation to them, that the dogs had to be separated, that Jax could not under any circumstances be around other dogs and that we were working with UAF to find a home for him. Once the dogs were both taken back I went out and brought in their beds. While holding both beds I sat on their bench and broke down. I was just so overwhelmed! Luckily the owner was there and some other really wonderful people. They made the whole experience much easier than it could have been. They were very reassuring, telling us it wasn't anything we did or didn't do, it was the nature of the dog and there was no way we would have been able to tell that when we first got him at 5 months.

After four days of the UAF woman not returning our several messages, we decided we could no longer afford to board Jax and took him to the Humane Society a week ago today. It was easier than I thought it would be, as easy as anything like this can be. We were both a little teary while waiting for the lady to take him, but when we took his leash and collar off of him and they slipped their leash on him, it was too much. He of course went happily. Stupid dog. We both cried all the way home and spent most of that night loving on Austin.

Austin never went looking for Jax, it was almost as if he knew what was going on. That doesn't mean we haven't' been dealing with a depressed dog though. He has a hard time eating, he's already lost five pounds (we're doing everything we can to get him to eat, but I will not force him as long as he's getting some in his system) and on top of losing his winter coat, we're pretty sure he's shedding more due to being sad. My house is disgusting, I vacuumed on Friday and by Monday the house was COVERED in dog hair!

There will be more later, but this is turning into a novel and I have to get some work done this week.