Friday, October 26, 2007

2ww

Welcome to the 2ww.

Last night I took my first dose of Pr*metrium. The dr has me on 200 mg once a day orally. I really didn't feel any side effects, like drunkenness or dizziness, but this morning my uterus feels very full. Almost crampy, but not quite. I have a hard time distinguishing between my IC symptoms and regular cramps, so maybe it's a combo of the Pr*metrium and the IC. We'll see.

I'm praying that these next two weeks go rather quickly and that I do not let the pregnancy effects of the Pr*metrium get my hopes up. I don't want to get my hopes up, but cannot help it, I already feel positive about this cycle. I want it to work, I want to give my husband a child, I want to be a parent. And I really want to be pregnant.

From all that I've read and observed on the internets, the end goal is a baby, a child to love and raise and parent. That is what I want too, but I also want to experience pregnancy, the feeling of the baby moving and growing, and yes, all the unpleasantness that goes with it too. (If this does someday work out and I do get to be pregnant, I may complain about the yuckiness of it, but that only makes me human, right?). Obviously we've talked about adoption and that is an option, but I want to be pregnant, I want to have the opportunity to breast feed.

Sometimes I think it's selfish of me to want to be pregnant, that I'm not really focusing on the end result, but then other times I don't think so. How did you handle the internal or external argument on this, or was this even a problem for you? I'm interested to know how others have dealt with the situation.

4 comments:

Mrs Marcos said...

I haven't shared anything about this on my blog (I rarely write on mine)...but I know what you're saying. I want to be pregnant too. We just finished up our first cycle of Clomid. Hoping for a successful ovulation this weekend. I'll keep dropping in to check on your progress. Good luck :)

Nessa said...

Mrs Marcos - Please keep me updated on your progress, we can "stalk" each other's cycles. I look at your email and it looked defunct, so drop me a line and you can keep me in the loop on you.

Nessa said...

Umm, yeah, it would help if I left you my e-mail nessa120 at yahoo dot com

V said...

I can't relate...But I can pray for you, and I will! I am sure your feelings of wanting to be pregnant are normal. It's how God created us. It's part of the maternal instinct, I would guess.