2ww

Welcome to the 2ww.

Last night I took my first dose of Pr*metrium. The dr has me on 200 mg once a day orally. I really didn't feel any side effects, like drunkenness or dizziness, but this morning my uterus feels very full. Almost crampy, but not quite. I have a hard time distinguishing between my IC symptoms and regular cramps, so maybe it's a combo of the Pr*metrium and the IC. We'll see.

I'm praying that these next two weeks go rather quickly and that I do not let the pregnancy effects of the Pr*metrium get my hopes up. I don't want to get my hopes up, but cannot help it, I already feel positive about this cycle. I want it to work, I want to give my husband a child, I want to be a parent. And I really want to be pregnant.

From all that I've read and observed on the internets, the end goal is a baby, a child to love and raise and parent. That is what I want too, but I also want to experience pregnancy, the feeling of the baby moving and growing, and yes, all the unpleasantness that goes with it too. (If this does someday work out and I do get to be pregnant, I may complain about the yuckiness of it, but that only makes me human, right?). Obviously we've talked about adoption and that is an option, but I want to be pregnant, I want to have the opportunity to breast feed.

Sometimes I think it's selfish of me to want to be pregnant, that I'm not really focusing on the end result, but then other times I don't think so. How did you handle the internal or external argument on this, or was this even a problem for you? I'm interested to know how others have dealt with the situation.