Thursday, November 8, 2007

My Letter

Infertility was not something on my radar. It was not what I was thinking about while playing house as a little girl. It never crossed my mind the day my husband and I decided we wanted to start a family, in fact I expected us to get pregnant rather quickly. Why not, it had been my dream from the time I was two. Then reality set in and over two years later we are still unable to conceive. And it is devastating.

There are many medical procedures that are available to us to assist in the building of our own biological family, great advances in science. However, none of them are covered by our insurance and we are not in a financial position to pay out of pocket. Therefore, we are left with few options. We have started the least expensive options, basic medications that seem to not be working, and are quickly trying to discuss and analyze our options that lay ahead.

The big debate I seem to hear most days is the higher outcome of multiples. Why are so many couples willing to take that risk? Let me tell you - they do not have coverage for the procedures that can start a family. They have to scrimp and save, sometimes for years in order to afford just ONE shot at having a family. So yes to some, the multiples are worth the risk. If people have mandated coverage for fertility treatments they wouldn't need to take the risk of multiples, placing the mother's and babies lives in jeopardy.

My husband and I are seriously considering adoption. Not because it's easier and not because we have given up all hope of having a biological child of our own. The reality is, our hard earned and saved for money will have a better chance of producing the outcome of a family this way. There are no guarantees through either path. Birth mothers change their minds, IVF doesn't always work. Both are heart breaking and painful, and expensive. If we knew there would be a net to catch us if treatments didn't work, or my well being wouldn't be put in jeopardy because this is the one shot we get, we would try everything possible to have our own biological child. But we cannot be guaranteed that that will not happen, we cannot be assured that it will work and we cannot afford to take those chances. Who would it benefit if we lost house and home while trying to start a family because we had no coverage?


The Town Criers said...

"Who would it benefit if we lost house and home while trying to start a family because we had no coverage?" So incredibly true. Thank you for writing this.

BethH6703 said...

I want to thank you for sharing your story. I've been reading all of them that Mel has posted links to, and it absolutely helps to put a "face" to this problem. They all hit close to home, and yet, it somehow helps me to know that I'm not alone in this fight.

V said...

You're still in my prayers!